Vulnerable
by twilightchic
Summary: Quil has always been there for Claire. He was a father figure, her big brother and now Claire wants more. When her life starts to crumble will Quil be able to pick up the pieces? Rated T for EXTREME paranoia! I just want to be safe.
1. Preface

**AN: **This is something that's been bugging me for a long time. It feels like this story needs to be told. I don't know... they seem like cute couple :). Alright, so enough of my rambling... on with the story. **A major thanks to my beta BEtwilightlove!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

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**Preface**

Claire POV

My life is so messed up.

How could I have done this? I had all of these great people in my life, but I pushed them all away. Now I was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

Lily.

Nessa.

Andrew.

Quil. Oh, Quil.

They would never take me back. I could never make this right. Forget trying to live with the pain; there wasn't a point anymore. And so I curled up and let the misery consume me.

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**AN: **Love it? Hate it? Wish you could have the five minutes of your life it took you read this back? I don't care! If I get **ONE **review for this or the first chapter then that's all I'll ask for for the **ENTIRE **story. I'm dead serious. I swear that I won't be the author that begs for reviews after every chapter. And remember, flames are welcome. I love s'mores!

forever yours.

Brooke. twilightchic.


	2. So What?

**AN: **If you are still reading after that awful preface then **GOD BLESS YOU! **I swear it gets better from here on out! If you reviewed or even **THOUGHT **about reviewing then gracias amigo! Are you impressed with my awesome Spanish skills? I know you are. **A major thanks to my beta BEtwilightlove!!**

Song for this chapter: So What? by P!nk

**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Twilight. **

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**Chapter 1**

**Claire POV**

My alarm clock woke me up at 5:00 AM. Waking up this early was a sacrifice I had to make if my sister was going to take an hour and a half in the bathroom every morning. I looked around at my cream colored bedroom walls and my collection of old Hollywood and Broadway posters that hung from them. While my eyes adjusted to the light, I sighed and climbed out of bed.

I walked quickly and quietly down the burgundy colored hallway and into the matching bathroom. Stepping silently, I hopped into the shower and let the hot water calm my first day of school nerves.

My phone's ringtone sounded throughout the house as I was wrapping a large, fluffy towel around me. Muttering to myslef the whole time, I ran as fast as I could without waking anyone to my room. My eyes flashed to the caller ID. I giggled softly and flipped it open when I realized who it was.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Claire." came Quil's voice.

"Good morning, Quil."

"Do you and your friends need a ride to school?" he asked. Even though he knew the answer, he still called every morning to check; he'd been driving Nessa, Andrew, and I to school ever since my parents had decided work was more important than me. When was that, again? Oh, yeah, the second day of preschool.

"Yeah, sure."

"And your sister?"

"She's taking the bus." She was starting sixth grade today. She wanted the "full experience" of being in middle school.

"Alright, see you at 7:15." And with that he hung up.

I turned around to survey my room, making sure everything I needed was available. I plugged my straightener into the socket and turned to my closet. After pulling on a ripped pair of jeans, a light green camisole, and a white boy's vest, I walked over to my dresser and sat down to apply my make-up carefully.

I heard my mom let Nessa, my best friend, into the house downstairs as I was swiping a mascara wand over my eyelashes. She banged up the stairs and pulled open the door. Nessa looked stunning with her dark skin and natural blush. Her long copper hair was down today, flawless curls shiny and soft, and her chocolate brown eyes sparkled brightly. Her full lips stretched into a smile over her perfect, white teeth when she saw me.

"You look hot," she stated simply before plopping down on my bed.

"Thanks," I smiled at her. "Did you see Andrew out there?"

"No, do you want me to throw rocks at his window like we used to do when we were little?" she said with a giggle.

I smiled. Ah, those were the good days. I was snapped back to the present by a loud banging on the front door.

"CUH-LAIRE!" Andrew's voice rang through the house. "Open the door!" Good old mom and dad must already be at work. I ran down the stairs and yanked the door open.

"Impatient much?" I asked with a smug smile. Our mothers had met at this weird pregnancy yoga thing and became best friends. Andrew had been born three days before me and those were the only days we'd been separated our whole lives. It sometimes felt like he, Nessa, and Quil were the only family I had in this crazy, messed up world.

"Good morning to you too, dear," he smirked while pushing past me to get to my kitchen.

Lily, my sister, picked that moment to come bouncing down the stairs.

"Hello, everyone," she sang brightly. She has taken preppy to the extreme. She was all curls and bubblegum.

"That's a new look," Nessa called as she descended gracefully down the stairs. "I like it."

"Thanks," she called as she ran out the door to catch her bus.

"Alright, kids," I sighed. "Let's wait outside for Quil." We grabbed our bags, locked the door behind us, and sat down on the front step. Nervous chatter about the first day of school filled the time until Quil's jeep stuttered to a stop in front of us.

"Claire!" he yelled. "I missed you!"

"I saw you yesterday," I said, thumping him on the head as I jumped in the front seat.

Quil stuck his tongue out at me and started poking me in the ribs.

"You kids are so immature," Andrew shook his head in mock disapproval.

"Good morning, Drew, Nessa," he said, composing himself, and nodding in their direction.

"Hi, Quil" Nessa chirped.

"Let's get you guys to school!" he said with fake enthusiasm.

All three of us groaned in unison.

Minutes later Quil pulled into the parking lot of La Push High. I turned towards him to grab my bag and found him looking at me intently.

"What are you staring at?" I asked him, not rudely but with genuine curiousity.

"Nothing," he sighed. "Nothing at all."

I shook my head and smiled. "Bye, Quil."

"Goodbye, Claire" he murmured before briefly pressing his lips to my cheek.

In that brief moment that his lips touched my skin my heart stopped beating. My head swam with emotion I didn't know exsisted. It was heaven.

I got out and slammed the door firmly behind me, my skin still on fire from Quil's kiss. Once the jeep was out of earshot, Nessa grabbed my elbow and jumped up and down and squealed.

"He touched your face! With his lips!" She screamed.

"Yeah, it's no big deal," I lied casually.

"Yeah, yeah, isn't it so wonderful?" Andrew said in an annoyed voice. "Now I plan on escorting you women to class, so," he offered us each an arm. "Let's go."

We looped our arms through his and I asked, "Who do you have first?"

"Shankles," Andrew said at the same time Nessa said, "Office aid."

We dropped Nessa off first and then Andrew led me to the music room. No one outside of music, except for Drew and Quil, knew that I played the flute. I couldn't wait to lose myself in the music, to let my fingers fly over the keys. It felt the same way when I picked up my guitar, sat down at my piano, or sang my heart out. Only Drew and Quil knew how much music meant to me. It was my escape. My life.

I pulled out my flute and began putting it together.

Pretty soon the first notes of Claire De Lune began to drift through the air. Just as I'd predicted, I was completely lost in the music. It was times like this I was glad I had parents who could care less. I could play my music for as long as I wanted to and not have to worry about other people hearing me or judging me.

All too soon I was forced from my musical haven and found myself at lunch.

"Can you believe we've almost survived our first day as juniors?" Andrew asked, pecking me on the cheek as I sat down next him.

"No not really," I mumbled. My thoughts strayed back to Quil's lips against my cheek. I was fourteen when I had started thinking of Quil as less of a big brother and more of a boyfriend. I'd been hoping and praying that my feelings hadn't become too obvious, but it had been getting harder to deny them. I sat there in my own little world and Nessa and Drew knew I wanted to be left alone.

The rest of the day passed in a gray blur. I would pretend to pay attention, but I was really thinking about Quil.

Finally the day ended. I skipped, happily to Quil's jeep and jumped in the front seat. Quil nodded quickly in my direction and waited for Drew and Nessa to get in. We dropped Nessa off and as we were speeding to my house he leaned towards me and whispered, "Claire-Bear, stay in the car." I gave him a questioning look. "Just trust me. We need to talk." Andrew looked back and forth between us quickly. A confused look spread across his handsome features. I was pretty sure my expression mirrored his.

I did trust him, probably so much it wasn't healthy. I wasn't the most observant person in the world but even I knew that our relationship couldn't continue to balance on the tip of a knife anymore.

Tonight everything would change.

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** AN: **Alright! First chapter! Victory dance! I didn't plan on having it finished it yet, but I'm in language class now... supposedly doing my assignments. What can I say? Inspiration hit me! Expect chapter 2 in a couple of days. I'm about to send it to my beta like right now... honestly. I swear.

forever yours.

brooke. twilightchic.


	3. How Far We've Come

**AN: **You guys are AMAZING! I love each and everyone of you! This story has gotten such a good response! I am totally motivated now! I'm writing chapter 3 as your reading this so expect that by Friday at the latest. I have a busy week so it might take longer. Major thanks to **Ava0Abney0and0Aubrey0Ambler**, **Jake-lover94**, and **girliegirl1110** for their reviews and alert adds. **And as always my lovely beta BEtwilightlove.** You are the bomb diggity! Alright... on with the story!

Song for this chapter: How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty

**Disclaimer: Me no own Twilight. sigh.**

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Chapter 2

Claire's POV

We were walking quietly to our special place. A cave back behind the famous cliff diving spot was our destination. No one knew about this place, and the thought of being alone with Quil made butterfiles fill my stomach. Those stupid butterflies must be on steriods or something.

Once the mouth of the cave came into view, he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I sat down on the huge rock and tugged on his arm until he sat down beside me.

"Claire," he sighed. "I wanted to tell you this three months ago, as soon as you turned sixteen, but I just... couldn't."

I sensed something big.

Quil was just about to open his mouth when my phone started ringing. I looked at him apologetically and he nodded. I reached into my pocket and looked down at my cell. Lily's name flashed across the screen.

"Hello?" I asked warily.

"Claire-Bear," my sister's voice sang brightly. "Get home right now. Mom and Dad have something to tell us."

"But I-"

"No but's! Except for yours in this house!" she barked and then hung up on me.

I looked at the phone dumbly and then to Quil. Apologies were flashing in my eyes. "I'm sorry Quil but-"

"I know," he murmured. I didn't want leave. I wanted to stay with him forever. He pulled me to my feet and swung a too-warm arm over my shoulders.

We walked in silence back to Quil's jeep. He helped me into his jeep and buckled me in before walking quickly back to the driver's side. Quil obviously wasn't going to talk so I let my mind wander. My mind strayed back to Lily's phone call. My parent's were arguing in the background but that wasn't anything new. If anything the fights had gotten worse. All of a sudden Quil stopped. I jerked forward and glared at him.

"Sorry," he muttered. It looked like he was surpressing a smile. He help me jump down and walked me to the front door. I stood cautiously on the front porch, not knowing what I find inside. Quil pushed me forward gently.

"Go on," he encouraged.

"I'm not sure if I want to," I admitted.

"Go on inside Claire," he urged. "I'll be at my house. Come find me if you need me." He looked at me the same way he had this morning, and before leaving, he leaned down and kissed me swiftly on the cheek.

Once again, the emotions overwhelmed me. I was on cloud nine. Of course, it was over all too soon.

I watched his retreating figure jog down the driveway before turning back towards the door. I took a deep breath and twisted the door knob. I was greeted by my mother when I stepped into the hallway. The look on her face made me want to turn around and run right back outside.

"Come sit down, Claire," my mother smiled gently at me.

I walked slowly towards the love seat in our beige living room and sat down next to Lily.

"Girls, you know we love you. You are our world," my father said, speaking quietly.

"We want nothing more than for you to be happy. That's all a mother ever wants, but sometimes your father and I need to think about ourselves," my mother continued in a soothing voice.

My dad jumped in again, clearing his throat. "We think it's best for everyone if," he paused, as if he was looking for a gentle way to put something harsh. "Your mother and I get a divorce."

Lily said nothing. She just rose from her seat and ran to her room. We heard her slam her bedroom door behind her, and her muffled sobs were audible.

I turned back to my parents, trying my hardest not to scream. I was the oldest sibling; I was supposed to try to handle this as maturely as possible. Apparently, I didn't try hard enough. "How could you do this to us?!" I yelled.

"We never wanted to hurt you," Mom insisted.

"I understand you did what you had to do, but do you think you could've done it without ruining our lives?!" My voice never faltered or dropped in volume.

"Claire we-"

"Save it!" I exclaimed. I pushed past my parents and yanked open the door only to slam it as hard as I could once I got outside.

I took off running down the driveway. My legs knew where I was going before my mind did. Once the alley behind La Push's only store came into view, I turned down it and ended up at Quil's house. I let my tears fall, blending in with the rain.

I stood outside Quil's door and started pounding furiously on the wood. Quil opened the door, looking very confused. His eyes took in my appearance and came to rest on my face. Something in my expression made him pull me roughly against his chest and carry me inside.

He walked inside and sat down on the couch and situated me in his lap. His hands started rubbing my back soothingly until my tears slowed.

"Claire," he murmured while pushing a strand of my soaked hair behind my ear. "Tell me what's wrong."

I buried my face in his shoulder and started sobbing again. "My parents are getting a divorce," I managed to choke out.

His arms tightened around me and warm hands started stroking my hair. "Oh sweetheart," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

I sat there with his strong arms wrapped firmly around my waist for what could've been hours but felt like minutes. I didn't want to ruin the only shred of peace left in my crumbling world by breaking the comfortable silence that surrounded us.

"I'm moving out," I mumbled into Quil's shirt.

"Claire," he said sternly, taking on the big brother role. "You can't- no you won't- move out of your parent's house. What will you do? Where will you go?"

"I'll move in with Nessa. I would move in with Drew but his house is just right next door to my house so that wouldn't really be solving the problem..." I trailed off when I saw the way he was looking at me.

"What about Lily?" he asked thoughtfully.

"I'm not leaving her in that house," I stated stubbornly. "Nessa's mom won't mind."

He seemed to be thinking something over. A battle raged in his eyes and then he finally turned his gaze to mine and sighed, defeated. "You're serious about this, I can tell. I don't want you somewhere I can't get to you if you need me."

"I don't understand what you're saying." I blinked, thouroughly confused.

"I want you and Lily to move in with Embry and me," he finally said after a painfully long silence.

Confusion swept over me. Was he serious? I looked into his eyes, and though they looked worried I saw no trace on insincerity. Though I tried to hold it back, a smile slowly crept it's way onto my face.

"Thank you Quil! Thank you so much!" I smiled as I threw my arms around his neck.

"I'll drive you back to your house. You and Lily can get enough stuff to last you through the week and then we'll move you guys in for real on Saturday," he murmured, drying the rest of my tears.

"No," I insisted. "I'll walk." I really didn't want Quil there when my dad's head exploded. It was bound to happen when I told him I was moving out.

"Claire," he muttered, annoyed. "I'm not going to let you walk all the back here with your bags."

"I'll get Andrew to drive us back," I called as I rose from his lap and sprinted out the door.

I ran happily all the way back to my house. To my surprise I even started humming under my breath. Moving in with Quil was a dream come true.

I stopped at my front door long enough to get my key out and twist the door knob. I bounced into the living room and my good mood melted when I saw my parents.

My mother's chocolate brown eyes were overflowing with tear; my dad just looked bored with the whole situation. He was never one to show his feelings.

"Oh, Claire! Thank God you're back," my mother sighed in relief when she saw me.

"Not for long," I replied icily.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

I honestly thought about replying but I didn't trust my temper so I bounded up the stairs and into my sister's room.

I found her curled up in a ball, wrapped in her balnket. Tears were streaming silently down her copper cheeks.

My arms wrapped around her small frame. "Shh, Lily, it's going to be okay," I murmured in her ear.

She pulled back suddenly and looked me in the eye. Her eyes showed both her hope and confusion. "How do you know?"

"Because, I'm getting you out of here." She looked up at me with confused eyes. "Just go pack a bag with everything you'll need to make it through this week."

She still looked confused but did as she was told.

I stood from her bed and skipped to my room. I began throwing my skinny jeans and tee shirts in my suitcase. I also grabbed a dress, some regular jeans, and my babydoll tops. If I was going to dress according to my mood I would need lots of options. Convereses, tennis shoes, flip flops, and heels we're thrown in carelessly afterwards. The burgundy hallway that was comforting this morning was a painful reminder of the happy family we used to be as I jogged to the bathroom. I packed my toiletries and returned to my room.

Sighing, I dropped down onto my bed and thought about how lucky I was to have Quil.

He'd been around since I was two. It was him who'd been the man in my life instead of my dad. Dad was always too busy for his little girl. Quil, on the other hand, had been the exact opposite. He'd been there as my big brother and now he was my best friend. He taught me how to walk, swim, even ride a bike. Now he was saving me from my psycotic parents.

"CLAIRE!" Lily yelled. "I'M READY!"

Grabbing my duffel bag as I went, I ran to shut her up. When I reached I leaned down to whisper in her ear, "When we go downstairs don't tell them anything or answer any questions. We just need to get out of here first. We'll fix things with them later."

She nodded mutely and proceded down the stairs.

We ignored the pleas and protests of our parents with a promise to fix things later and walked to Andrew's house. I let just a few tears leak out of my eyes, hoping that all evidence of them would be gone by the time Drew opened the door. Of course, he knew me too well. The door cracked open in response to my knocking, and I could see Andrew's face fill with worry.

"Claire! Hon, what's wrong?"

I shook my head. "I'll tell you later, I just need you to take us to Quil's."

He nodded and pulled Lily and I into a tight hug before taking our bags and leading us to his car.

The ride to Quil's house was silent and full of sideways glances from Andrew. I could tell he was worried, but I just wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

He pulled to a stop in front of the old, run-down house I'd grown up in.

"Come on, Lils," I murmured, helping her out of the car.

The sound of the car must have alerted Quil to our arrival because he came running out the door and ran straight to Lily. He picked her up and spun her around.

"Lily! I haven't seen you in forever!" he yelled.

She giggled softly as he placed her back on the ground.

I rolled my eyes at their immaturity and walked into the house. We would be moving into Uncle Jake's old room. He'd moved out when his girlfriend had moved to Alaska with her family. Thankfully, he'd had the largest room.

Having practically grown up in this house, I found my way to the room that was destined to be ours quickly.

"QUIL!" I shrieked, pausing in the doorway of Jake's old room. "This place is disgusting!" I let my eyes roam over the littered floor. Old magazines, pizza boxes, and various cans were scattered across the hardwood.

"Well, er, I kind of figured that, um, you and Lily could sleep in my room and I'd sleep on the, uh, couch until we got this place fixed up," he offered weakly. He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"This is going to take some work," I muttered, surveying the damage one more time. "Well, let's get started.

With one last thought I turned my back to my past and faced my future.

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**AN: **Okay, so I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's twice as long as the last one so I hope your happy about that! Like I said, updates MAY be a little delayed but I'm going to try my hardest! Please review if you want. I'll update regardless but reviews make me smile :)

yours forever.

.


	4. Vulnerable

**AN: **Okay, so go ahead and kill me. This chapter is TWO WEEKS LATE!! gahhhh!! Anyways there's some important stuff to discuss here. Numero Uno: I have changed the title of this story to... Vulnerable! Also I will have real chapter names!! yayyyy!! On top of this chapter being late it's also short. sigh. All dedications at the bottom... now read. I'm serious 123 go! :)

Song for this chapter: Vulnerable by Second Hand Serenade

**Disclaimer: I'm obviously not Stephenie Meyer, if I was I would be able to meet deadlines, but I can't. sigh.**

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**Chapter 3**

**Claire POV**

"Drew! Come help me move this box!" I called from my old room. Today was the day Lily and I would officially move into Quil's house. I heard someone come up behind me, and I turned around, expecting to find my best friend.

"Claire, please don't do this," my mother begged as soon as I faced her. The way she looked at me, eyes full of love and concern, made me second guess myself.

I shook my head sadly. "Mom, I just need a break," I whispered. "Please understand." I desperately needed her to understand where I was coming from.

"I think I do understand a little," she admitted. Immediatly, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. "No mother wants to loose both of her little girls though," she murmured, tears spilling out of her eyes.

Moving quickly, I ran to put my arms around her. "This isn't permenant," I promised. "Lily and I just need time."

She nodded, and after disentangling herself from my embrace, left the room.

"Claire?" Quil's voice sounded from just outside the door. He walked into the room, and my heart began to pound wildly.

"Hey." I smiled at him, though I was sure it didn't reach my eyes. "Can you help me move this box?" I could tell he wanted to question me about my mood, but he didn't push it, and for that I was greatful. After many tear filled nights I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let anyone see me cry; talking about the recent converstaion with my mother would surely bring on the waterworks.

"Sure, sure," he murmured. He picked up the box I had been struggling with for over an hour easily with one hand. I glared at him, and he chuckled as he grabbed another box and waltzed effortlessly out the door and down the stairs.

The rest of the day passed in the same manner. All of us "kids" would struggle with numerous boxes then Quil would come in and grab them without a problem and toss them in the back of his truck. I soon found myself at Quil and Embry's small house unpacking boxes.

I was unloading my books onto the shelves Quil had built when I heard the front door open and slam shut. Curious, I walked out of my room and into the hallway.

"Uncle Jake!" I yelled, throwing myself at the tall, handsome, dark skinned man standing just inside the doorway.

"Hey there Claire-Bear," he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"What? I can't come home and visit my family?" Mock hurt spread over his face. "I haven't been home in forever! I missed you guys! Plus, Dad told me we were having a famous La Push bonfire tomorrow night." Ah, that was why he was here. Aunt Emily's cooking.

"I'm so glad you're back!" I couldn't get rid of the stupid smile that had spread across my face when I'd first layed eyes on him.

"Jacob! Hey bro!" Quil called as he sauntered through the back door.

Uncle Jake dropped me and ran to embrace to Quil in a brotherly hug.

"Um, ouch," I complained. I looked up at the tow men who'd been the closest thing I'd had to a father figure, talking animatedly. They looked like little kids. "Hello?" I tried calling their attention to my current position on the floor, but they continued to ignore me. Realizing they weren't going to help me, I huffed and pulled myself to my feet. "Alright guys, I'm going to keep unpacking." No response. I rolled my eyes at their immaturity. Knowing this would only get worse when Embry got home, I decided to go get Lily from Andrew's house. She'd never been one for physical activity so I'd let her stay at Drew's while I unpacked. "Bye kids," I called as I skipped out the door. That got their attention.

"Wait! Claire, where are you going?" Quil asked, jogging up behind me.

"Oh! Now you care! I'm going to get Lily," I replied cooly.

"Can I go? Please?" Jacob asked, bouncing on his heels. I wondered, briefly, where he'd picked up that habit.

"Sure thing, Uncle Jake."

"Yes!" He pumped his fist in the air and ran to his old 1996 Voltswagon Rabit.

"Why are you so excited?" I giggled.

"Because, I get to see Drew and Lily," he smiled. "I practically raised those kids," he murmured with a faraway look in his eyes.

"There'll be time for reminiscing later," I sighed in impatience.

"Yeah, you're right," he smiled at me again. I'd always loved his smile; it reminded me of dawn breaking over the horizon.

I situated myself in the front seat and we took off to Andrew's house. The ride was filled with mindless chatter about school, life, and Jake's new life in Alaska. I found myself telling him about the divorce and moving in with Quil. Soon enough we pulled into Drew's driveway.

Lily's head appeared in the window and her face lit up.

"Uncle Jake!" She bolted out the front door and sprung into his arms.

"Lily!" He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

I chuckled and leaned back against the car. Andrew appeared in the doorway, strolling casually towards us. Then his eyes landed on Jacob.

"Jake?" He blinked quickly. "Is that you?"

"Sure is, little man!" Jake replied walking towards him to engulf him in a hug. Drew pulled away from him and jogged over to me, his eyes glistening with excitement.

"Hey, Claire," he extended his arms towards me. I smiled and stepped into his embrace, breathing in his familiar scent of the ocean and Axe soap. He'd always provided comfort for me. He kissed the top of my head, tapped the tip of my nose lightly, and bounced back over to Jake.

"As great as all this reunion stuff is," I began, clearing my throat to get everyone's attention, "but, I'd like to see Dad before he leaves." He'd told us soon after we'd moved out that he'd be moving to New York. My mind strayed back to that horrid night from two weeks ago.

Flashback

_"I'm so glad we worked everythingout," my mother sighed as she pulled my sister and I closer._

_"Since we're all together," my dad began hesitantly. "I want to tell you girls that I'm moving to New York."_

_My first instinct was to go into shock, but instead I chocked out, "Why?"_

_"Well I can't stay here," he said as if it was obvious._

_"But that's all the way across the country," Lily whispered through the tears that threatened to spill out of her cocoa colored eyes._

_"I know, but it's for the best."_

End flashback

I hadn't realized the tears I'd been trying so desperately to hold back had overflowed from my eyes until I felt too-warm arms wrap around me.

Leaning my head against Jake's chest, I began to wipe away my tears. I mentally kicked myself for showing this weakness.

"If you want to see Daddy we need to go now," Lily murmured.

"I'll wait in the car," Jacob promised.

I stole one last glance at the safety and comfort of Drew's house and walked quickly over to my old home. Using the key under the flowerpot I let myslef and Lily in.

Dad came down the stairs with his bags just as we entered, but promptly dropped them when he saw us. He ran and embraced us. This shocked me; my dad isn't nor has he ever been an emotional man.

"You know this will all work out in the end," he whispered confidently in our ears.

We both nodded. "I know Daddy. I trust you," Lily responded.

"I know I haven't always been the best dad to you two, but I want you to know that you girls are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

He was right. He hadn't always been there, but regardless he was my dad. Love and respect for my dad swelled in my heart. I could only hope that he would continue to be the same man he was right now.

"I'll miss you girls," he whispered before kissing our cheeks and picking up his bags. "Goodbye girls. I'll see you soon," he paused for a moment before adding, "I love you."

We told him the same and watched hom drive off before climbing Jake's car. I waved goodbye to Andrew as we drove by and we sped towards Quil's house. Our house.

The ride was silent except for the occasional sniffle from Lily.

As soon as the car came to a stop at the familiar faded house I leapt from my seat, eager for the comfort Quil provided.

He came out of the house to greet us, and I jumped into his arms and cried. I couldn't believe I was showing this weakness again. I heard him mumble something to Jake, Embry, and Lily before carrying me inside. Warmth engulfed me and I realized Quil had layed me on his bed and wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you," I choked out. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Anything for you," he whispered against my hair. "Why don't you take a nap?" he suggested. "You look exhausted."

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Yes," he chuckeld.

I began to drift off to sleep. I thought I heard Quil whisper, "I'll be here forever."

But it was probably just my imagination.

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**AN: **On top of this chapter being late it's also short!! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and my beta **BEtwilightLOVE**. Now I have two questions for you:

1) Do you want Claire to find out about Quil in the next chapter or do you want me to stretch it out a bit further?

2) Do you want the Cullen's to make a guest appearance in this story?

Alright kids, it's all up to you!! So... go press that pretty lavender button! Now! 123 go!

yours forever.

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	5. The Dreaded Author's Note

All of my wonderful readers,

Here it is. The dreaded authors note. I'm writing to tell you I'm not dead… I just have had some tough times that have made me loose all inspiration to write. No fear citizens, my boyfriend has convinced me to pursue my writing. So, I will continue writing, and here comes the really good news…

**I HAVE THREE CHAPTERS ALREADY WRITTEN!!!**

Okay, so these three chapters have been sent to my beta, but I haven't gotten a response yet. I'm just as eager to get these chapters up as you are to read them, so I was wondering if someone might want to be a temporary {{might end up being permanent}} beta-reader. If you're interested, contact me through PM. Alright, so another thing I'd like to address is you guys are probably going to absolutely hate me for what happens in these next couple of chapters. What happens, happens because **LIFE ISN'T ALL BUBBLEGUM AND SUGARPLUMS!!! **So, what I'm trying to say is, don't get mad for what happens because I already have WONDERFUL plans for Claire and all of her little friends and I **PROMISE** to you that Claire will end up happy. Claire will find out soon. So far I've planned on her finding out everything about Quil in chapter nine or ten. I have up to chapter six already written so if you guys are patient, and I can find someone who will beta read really fast and efficiently, I'll have you that chapter before we go back to school!!

**RECAP!!**

Okay kids, time to recap what we've just learned.

**1) I'm not dead.**

**2) This story will continue.**

**3) I have the next three chapters completely written.**

**4) I have sent them all to my beta, but she has yet to respond.**

**5) Because I am an extremely impatient person I'm looking for a temporary beta, who may become permanent.**

**6) If you are interested please contact me through PM.**

**7) Claire's hard times are coming to an end.**

**8) Claire will find out about Quil very soon.**

**Alright, that's it. Remember everything we've learned today!!**

**forever yours.**

**brooke. twilightchic.**


	6. Thriller

**AN: **It's finally here!! Ok so I'm super excited about this chapter!! I would like to thank my new beta IAmSwitzerland101. She's incredibly awesome and I greatly recomend her stories. Since this chapter is only here because of her this chapter is dedicated entirely to her. Thanks Nicole!

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**Chapter 4**

**Claire's POV **

The never ending maze stretched before me. I felt someone take my hand and realized immediately that the too warm skin belonged to Quil. My eyes wandered to his face, and I saw he wore a warm smile.

"Come on, Claire," he whispered. "We've got to get out of here."

I didn't hesitate. He guided me effortlessly through various twists and turns.

"Claire! Claire-Bear! I need your help!" Jacob's voice rang through the air, loud and clear. He was standing around the corner, but Quil was trying to lead me the other way. I broke free from Quil's grasp, and ran towards Jacob.

"Uncle Jake!" I called when I reached the spot where he was standing.

He wasn't there.

I turned around to rejoin Quil, but he was missing as well. All of a sudden, it was too cold. The cold air caressed my legs, making me shiver. Tears began to collect in my green eyes as I ran around in circles trying to find the one man that could save me. I soon

realized that it was hopeless; this battle was already lost. Quil was gone, and I was alone.

My legs buckled and I sank to the ground.

My eyes shot open. I furiously wiped at the tears that were falling from my eyes and tried to steady my breathing before I woke Quil. His arms were tight around my waist, providing comfort and warmth. A little too much warmth. I was burning up! I had to get untangled from his embrace before I had a heat stroke.

I squirmed and wiggled my way out of Quil's arms, and bounded lightly through the bedroom door. A loud, distinct howl rang through the air. A wolf. I tiptoed quietly into the living room and headed towards the window. Someone or something shot across the yard at lightning speed.

The howling got louder.

I strained my eyes to see where the strange creature had gone. Suddenly, it was in front of me. An inhumanly perfect creature was staring at me through the glass. My eyes took in her perfect face, beautiful blond hair, swimsuit model body, and finally, her cold, blood red eyes.

The howling grew even louder.

She turned around and looked in the direction of the howling, then repositioned herself so that she was staring at me again. A beautiful smile graced her full lips as she poised herself to spring. My mind was screaming danger, but I couldn't tear myself away from this perfect creature. I was completely enthralled by her, and when she noticed this, her laugh sounded through the air.

"Right where I want you," she sneered in an impossibly beautiful voice.

The howling grew to an unbearable volume.

"Get away from her you leech!" Quil's angry voice came from behind me. "Claire, honey, listen to me."

I nodded.

"Don't say a word, but back slowly away from the window and sit on the couch."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. I can take her down and get out of here before you can even phase," the woman snarled at Quil.

Phase? What was this gorgeous woman, and what was she talking about?

"Don't hurt the girl," Quil commanded through clenched teeth.

She poised herself to strike. Quil to began to shake. He was shaking so hard, he almost blurred. In the time it took me to blink, Jake and Embry were beside him.

"Uncle Jake? Uncle Embry? What's going on?" I was begging for answers.

"You pathetic dogs think you can take me out?" the woman asked.

The three men standing before me exploded... Their clothes scattered around the room, and fur took the place of skin. Three men no longer stood before me, three wolves did. I let out a blood curdling scream and backed away from the window at the same time the wolves lunged for the woman.

Running as fast as my legs would take me I headed toward Lily. She was still sound asleep in her bed, looking peaceful and content. I sighed and sank to the floor. Sobs overtook me, and I cried until I felt a warm arm wrap around me. I looked up into the sympathetic face of Paul.

"Quil, Jake, and Embry will be back soon honey," he promised. "They sent me to check on you."

"Thank you," I choked out.

"No problem, sweetheart. Here," he offered his hand, "let me help you into bed."

I looked at the clock and groaned. 3 A.M. Lovely. Paul gently helped me to my feet, and into bed.

"Sweet dreams Claire," he kissed my forehead and strolled quietly through the door. I turned over and fell into a fitful sleep of nightmares centered on cold, hard, red eyes.

_He said where you going boy?You know the world is headed for your goodbyes-_

"Hello?" I answered my phone groggily. I knew from the ring tone it was Andrew.

"Claire? Quil asked me to call when it was time for you to wake up since you guys aren't unpacked yet, so you don't have alarm clocks..." he trailed off.

"Thanks Drew," I said appreciatively.

"No problem, hon. I'll see you at 6:30," he promised before hanging up.

I climbed out of bed, and stepped lightly through the door. Careful not to wake Lily, I scurried down the hall and into the bathroom. I showered quickly and got dressed. I didn't want to impress anyone...what I wanted was answers.

Quil, Jake, and Embry were sitting in the kitchen sipping coffee and gossiping like old ladies.

"I heard Ariel went to get her wedding dress the other day," Embry confided to the group.

"You mean her and Seth are _finally_ going to tie the knot?" Jacob asked, astonishment laced through his voice.

I cleared my throat impatiently. The three grown men jumped and looked at me with terror in their eyes.

"What the hell was last night about?!" I asked with an impatient sneer.

"Claire, honey, that language-" Quil began.

"Shut up, Quil. I want answers." I demanded.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine," Embry muttered under his breath..

"I heard that," I snapped.

"Why are you so hostile?" Jacob questioned.

"Why am I so hostile?! The three men I've looked up to since I was two years old morphed into giant wolves in front of me last night! Do you not expect me to be just a little hostile?! I'm sick of all this crap. I just want the truth," I demanded with a sigh.

"Claire, it's not the time, nor the place," Quil whispered.

"Good morning all," Lily sang as she skipped out the door.

"Is she always that perky?" Embry asked in astonishment.

"I'm not going to school today," I announced, ignoring Embry's stupid comment.

"Yes, you are. I'm not letting you miss school," Quil reprimanded in a fatherly tone.

"I can do whatever the hell I want," I hissed.

"No young lady, you're going to school," he hissed through clenched teeth.

I gave him a defiant smile and skipped away to my room.

"Claire!" Quil called. "Claire, get in here!"

In truth, it was all a show. I didn't want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness. To smile, instead of cry. I sank to the floor and cried until I had no tears left.. I was hurt that the only man I had ever learned to trust was keeping a secret from me. I told him everything, and this is what I get in return? Sure, him keeping a secret isn't such a big deal...if that secret doesn't involve morphing into a giant wolf! I made up my mind. Quil wasn't going to keep secrets from me any longer.

I would find out the truth.

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AN: **Yayy!! This chapter is finally out of the way! Now, this chapter is a bit awkward in places because it was the first I'd written in a LONG time so bear with me. The stuff I'm working on now is better. I promise. Remember, reviews are not necessary, but the make my days a little brighter (:

forever yours.

brook. twilightchic.


	7. Shadow of the Day

**AN: **Alright, so first I would like to give a shout out to **Xx-PrincessPeach-xX** and my beta **I Am Switzerland101.** This chapter is dedicated to my "best friend" Schelbi and my wonderful, amazing boyfriend who helped me write Quil's POV.

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Chapter 5

**Quil's POV**

"Claire, honey?" I called softly through her locked bedroom door. "Jake just got off the phone with your school. Nessa's going to bring your homework by this afternoon."

"Okay," her soft voice answered. A loud, violent sob came through the door.

"Please let me in," I resorted to begging. "Please."

I heard shuffling on the other side of the door, and the knob twisted slowly. Claire's beautiful face appeared a moment later. Mascara was running down her perfect copper cheeks while fresh tears were streaming out of her stunning green eyes. Even now, she was the most perfect creature I'd ever laid eyes on.

"What do you want, Quil?" she whispered, her voice raw.

"Come on, sweetheart," I grabbed her hand. "We're going to our cave."

"No, Quil. _We're_ not going anywhere," she murmured. "I just…can't. I can't trust you anymore. Lily and I will be out of here by this weekend. I'm sorry, but it has to be this way," she softly shut the door in my stunned face.

"Quil," Embry came up behind me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Come on, bro," he whispered softly to me.

I turned away from Claire, my life, my soul, my heart, and walked toward the living room.

"She's leaving. She hates me. I really screwed up this time." I felt my frustration mounting. "Why? Why did I keep this from her?" I angrily asked myself.

_Because you were afraid. Afraid she wouldn't love you._

I couldn't say it out loud, but that little voice in my head was right. I wasn't just afraid, I was terrified. I was terrified of losing the only person that mattered to me, and in the end all of my fears were right. Claire was gone from my life. I messed up the one thing that really mattered.

"Quil," Jake murmured sympathetically as he embraced me in a brotherly hug.

I hadn't even realized that tears had begun to fall from my eyes, and I angrily wiped them away. My reason for living didn't want me anymore. That cut me deeper than any knife could. I slowly stood up and looked around the room. Everything held a memory of Claire.

"Shoot!" my angel's voice rang from the back of the house. I heard her drop something in a box and tape it shut. She was telling the truth.

My Claire-Bear was going to leave me.

"Jake?" I asked, new resolve laced in my voice. "When are you going back to Alaska?"

"Um, sometime next week," he answered, unsure of himself. "Why?"

"I'm coming with you."

**Claire's POV**

"I'm coming with you," I listened to his determined voice.

Quil? Quil was leaving? Didn't he understand how much I needed him? Without him, I had no reason to stay here.

I looked at the clock. Three o' clock. Perfect. I grabbed Embry's car keys and my wallet. Being sixteen had its perks. I could come and go as I pleased and didn't have to ask the person I didn't want to see most for a ride.

Slipping on my furry boots, I quietly tip-toed out the back door. I climbed into Embry's car, hoping he wouldn't mind, and headed toward La Push Middle School.

Lily was sitting on the front steps waiting for Nessa and Andrew to pick her up. She saw me and I quickly waved her over.

"Claire?" she asked, confused. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Okay, hold on," she gave a strange look. "Hey Tiff!" she called to one of her friends. "When Drew and Nessa get here tell them I left with Claire." The girl nodded and Lily climbed in the car.

"Lily," I began cautiously. "Do you miss dad?"

"Of course," she answered immediately.. "All the time."

"What do you think about going to live with him?" I suggested.

"Claire," Lily's voice suddenly took on a harsh tone. "No. I moved out of my house, the house I'd lived in since I was born, because of you. I made my mother cry, because you couldn't stay in that house. I'm being affected by this too, Claire. Now you want me to move to the other side of the country because you had a fight with your boyfriend? I don't think so."

"He's not my boyfriend," I said lamely.

"Forget it, Claire. I'm moving back in with Mom."

I stared at her. Even though I was in complete shock, I turned the key in the ignition and began the drive back to Quil's house. When we reached our destination, I turned off the car and Lily ran eagerly into the house. I followed slowly behind, shuffling my feet.

"Claire," Quil called as soon as I walked through the door. He crooked his finger in my direction, indicating that I should come closer. "Claire," he whispered again. "I'm leaving.. What I've done to you, what I am, isn't good for you. I shouldn't have let it get this far, and for that I apologize." Even though I knew this was coming, it still hurt. It felt like I'd been burned.

"You are not going to leave me," I yelled in vain. I knew his mind was made up. I knew that he was leaving whether I liked it, or not.

"I'm going to Alaska with Jake," he murmured gently.

"You are not going to leave me!" I screamed again.

**Quil's POV**

The look on Claire's beautiful face tore a gaping hole in my heart. My eyes strayed from her glorious face; it hurt too much to look.

When I turned to face her again she was sitting on the floor, her face hidden in her knees.

"Claire, please don't cry, there is no reason to cry," I murmured, desperate to slow the tears that were now flowing freely from her incredible green eyes.

"You're right," she said wiping the tears from her eyes as she stood up. Her face was torn. "I want answers. You aren't going anywhere," she said, a tear escaping her eyes every now and then, "until I get some answers."

"Claire I have to leave."

"If you're leaving, then I'm leaving too" she said, storming to her closet. She picked up her suitcase and started throwing stuff in it.

This shocked me. I knew Claire was leaving this house, but leaving La Push? She couldn't. Her family was here. Her friends were here.

"And where do you plan to go?" I asked. I was desperate to find some flaw in her plan so that she would stay here.

"To New York, with the one person who loves me, my dad." she said.

It was true; her father was a completely different man now. I walked away from her, leaving her stunned. Not once have I ever walked away from her while we were having a conversation.

Jake was throwing his stuff in his old, beat up suitcase at rapid speed. "Nessie needs me back home, man. If you're coming with me, we're leaving tomorrow morning," he whispered sadly.

I nodded my head and turned towards Embry.

"I'm sure you guys heard all of that," I began; they both gave a quick nod. "So you know Claire's going to New York."

"Quil, this is insane! You can't leave! You can't leave her, you imprinted on her fourteen years ago! Sam said it was impossible for you to leave the one you imprint on," Embry yelled in frustration.

"I have to leave! Everything I was afraid of is happening!" I argued. "She hates me. She hates what I am," I murmured dejectedly. "Embry, just promise me something. Promise me that you'll watch them until they leave. Be there for them. Let them know that I love them."

"Quil, man, I'll do everything I can for these girls. They're practically my own, but you have to tell them. Everything."

I wanted to tell her everything. I was about to burst, I wanted to scream, Claire, you want answers well here they are! I am a werewolf. The woman you saw outside was a vampire who so badly wanted to kill you! I kept this from you because I love you. I have loved you since you were two years old. We are meant for each other. We are supposed to be together. I was terrified you would be afraid of me, and I am sorry that I love you so much and I didn't want to lose you.

The tears I had fought so hard to keep back rolled down my cheeks.

"I can't. What I am, it isn't good for her. I was stupid to think that I could ever have her. I was stupid to let it get this far."

"**i**Okay bro, I can't make you do anything you don't want to do," Embry placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I walked into my room with Jake and Embry close on my heels. The contents of my closet were soon emptied into my suitcase, and everything else of any importance was packed carefully. I gently put picture after picture of Claire in my bag. Her stuffed bear that she had given me when she was five, the keychain with the little wooden carvings of trees that she'd made with Jake for my birthday one year, and anything else that reminded me of what we once were, what we could've been one day, was laid gently in afterwards.

"Goodbye, Quil," a soft voice from behind me called. I turned around and looked into the face of an angel.

"Claire, you know I love you," I said. She turned and I grabbed her in my arms. She hugged for a minute, and then started beating her arms against my chest.

"If you love me then why are you leaving me, why have you been keeping secrets from me?!" she yelled losing the battle against the tears that were now streaming down her face. "I tell you _everything!_ Tell me Quil! Why are you keeping secrets?!" she yelled. "Why are you leaving me?" she whispered as she fell to the ground.

That was all I could take, I walked into the hallway, phased, and took off out the door running. I heard her say, "Quil, I love you, please don't leave me." I stumbled a little after I heard her say that, but I did not stop. I ran into the woods at full speed. I didn't know where I was going, but it was going be far away from here.

I would never look back.

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**AN: **I'm sorry that I'm doing this to Claire. When my life sucks, I take it out on my poor innocent little characters. Oh well, *sigh*. There's that green button... you know what to do with it.

forever yours.

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	8. Temporary Home

**Author's Note: **I really appreciate anyone who would still read this... it's been so long and I feel horrible. So, I ask you EVER so kindly, could you please stick with this story? It's become sort of my life line recently and it means a lot to me... so to those of you who had been reading before I just fell off the face of the earth, maybe you could skim over the other chapters, refresh your memory, and read the three chapters I'm posting tonight? It'd literally mean the world to me.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 6**

**Quil's POV**

Claire. My Claire. She hates me. I messed up the best thing to ever happen to me. I lost my reason for living. Without her there wasn't a point to life. I slowed my run to a trot. I would have to phase back soon; I was getting close to a town. The smell of humans reached my nostrils.

I phased back and slipped on my jeans. Sinking to the cold, hard forest floor, I began to sob. I couldn't live without her. Why had I done this? Part of me wanted to turn around and wrap her in my arms and tell her how much I love her, but the other part knew that wasn't for the best. I should've ran away a long time ago. I'm not good for her.

"Claire," I murmured her name once. Her perfect face haunted every thought that crossed my mind. Her beautiful voice still rang in my ears. The feeling of her in my arms still lingered on my skin.

I stood slowly and wiped the tears from my cheeks. The trees began to thin around me and I found myself in the middle of a town. A bright cheery sign declared 'Welcome to Anchorage.'

Anchorage? Jake lived here. I just had to ask around and find the Cullen's. Someone was sure to notice the abnormally beautiful family.

"Excuse me, sir?" I asked a random guy that passed in front of me.

"Yes?" he sneered impatiently.

I was a bit take aback by his attitude but quickly regained my composure. "Would you happen to know where I could find the Cullen family?"

"The Cullen's? Um, yeah," he seemed shocked. "Head a few miles out of town and it's the only house way out there."

"Thank you," I graciously thanked the man.

I sprinted into the woods and quickly stripped down and phased. Once I was in my wolf form, I let thoughts of Claire take over once again. Her face, her voice, her warm laugh, her tear filled eyes when we said goodbye. These images haunted me.

I slowed my run and stared in awe at the huge house in front of me. I phased and got dressed.

"Why do I smell a dog?" a beautiful blonde girl sneered as she peered out the window.

"Maybe because I live here," I heard Jake's voice suggest.

"No, there's another one."

I heard someone rise from a chair and run to the door.

"Quil!" Jake called and ran towards me. "You really did it. You really left her?" he questioned in astonishment.

"Yeah," I whispered, my voice cracking. "I really did."

"I figured you were heading this way when you took off running, so I grabbed your suitcase when I left. Alice already saw you coming and fixed you a room," he explained as he led me inside.

He led me past a sour looking blonde, up a staircase, and to the end of an impossibly long hallway.

"Here's your room. Make yourself comfortable and come find me if you need anything. The others are out… hunting," he shuddered, "but when they get back I'll let them know you're here."

He left me alone then, to wallow in my own misery. My stuff was already completely unpacked,, which meant pictures of Claire were scattered around the room. Each one tore a new hole on my heart. My beautiful Claire was no longer a part of me.

As much as it truly hurt, I had to let her go.

"Jake," I whimpered, feeling like a small, vulnerable child. I knew he would hear me.

"Yeah, bro?" he asked as he opened the door to my new room.

"Um, is there somewhere I could take a shower and get cleaned up?" I asked.

"Yeah, right through that door," he pointed at the wall behind me. "Bella just called to check in on Rose and I to make sure we hadn't killed each other and I told her you were here. She said that her and Esme would fix you a nice dinner when they got home." He looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. "We're all here for you," he reminded me.

"Thanks, man," I called over my shoulder as I walked towards the bathroom. I didn't want to cry in front of him. Before this week I could the number of times I'd cried on one hand. Now, I'd lost count. Claire was what kept me whole, and now I didn't have her. I was incomplete.

I stepped into the stream of scalding hot water letting it relax my tense muscles. The tears I was trying to hold back began to fall freely from my eyes, but I didn't care. Here, the water mixed with my tears making me feel less weak. I never thought I'd be here. Living in the bloodsucker's house while my Claire was on her way to the other side of the country. I turned the water off and stepped out. A large towel was sitting out on the counter, so I grabbed it and secured it around my waist. I walked cautiously back into my room, unprepared for the assault of emotions that were brought on when I saw Claire's face smiling down at me from the wall. I hadn't noticed this picture before, in fact, I didn't recognize it at all. It was a picture of Claire and I asleep in each others arms on the beach. We were laying on a large beach blanket with my arm wrapped protectively around her. Whoever had taken this picture also had it blown up and framed. It was beautiful. Claire's perfect face was relaxed and at peace and the sun was setting over the water.

"Claire," I murmured her name before the pain overtook me once more.

**Claire POV**

All I did was cry anymore, and today was no exception. It had been one week, four days, and seventeen hours since Quil had left. My personal sun was gone. My warmth and comfort was gone. My only reason to live was gone.

"Claire, we need to get you to the airport," Embry called from the kitchen.

"I'm coming," I called back. I grabbed a tissue from the box by my bed and dabbed at my eyes. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I shuffled out the door and down the hall.

"Ready, Claire," he asked gently as he took my bag.\

"Not really, but let's go anyways," I sighed. He gave me a small sympathetic smile.

"Come on, Lily's already in the car."

Lily had moved back to Mom's house two days after Quil left. She was happy to be back and Mom was ecstatic to get one of her little girls back. Now, it was my turn. Today I was leaving for New York City to live with my dad. It was my last resort. Everything in this God forsaken town reminded me of him. Of what we had. Of what we could've been.

The car ride to the airport was relatively silent. There were occasional comments from Lily and Embry about how different life was going to be out east, and how much they would miss me. I remained silent. Every place we drove by held a memory of Quil. Once we were out of Forks, I knew that there was no danger of anything reminding me of him. Soon enough we arrived at Seattle International Airport.

"Come on, honey," Embry said as he grabbed my bag from the trunk. He led us inside the large building and to a friendly looking lady at a counter. Once he got me checked in he walked me to my terminal.

"Goodbye, Claire," Lily murmured wrapping her small arms around me. "I love you sis. I promise that I'll come visit."

"Ok, Lily. I love you too. Be safe, please," I whispered as I wiped a stray tear from her cheek while ignoring the ones that were flowing from my eyes. I then turned to look at Embry.

"Bye, Embry," I whispered. His large, muscular arms wrapped around me. "Watch after her. Take care of her. Please," I begged him.

"I will, sweetheart," he promised. "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered brokenly.

"Claire! Claire!" a familiar voice screamed my name.

"Nessa!" I was shocked. She was supposed to be in school. Andrew and my mom were close behind her. She tackled me in a hug and I felt her tears soaking my shoulder.

"Claire, I'm gonna miss you babe. I love you. Don't forget about us," she whispered in my ear.

I put my buried my face in her hair and cried. "I won't hon, I couldn't forget you if I tried," I promised. "I love you. Now and forever," I stroked her hair as I fingered the friendship bracelet she'd given me when were fourteen.

"My turn," Andrew declared as he playfully bumped Nessa out of the way. "Claire-Bear, we're all going to miss you. Without you our lives are going to be so boring," he complained. His face suddenly took on a serious demeanor. "I love you, Claire."

"I love you too, Drew," I murmured. "And don't forget it."

Finally, I turned to face my mom.

"Well, Claire," she looked at me with tear filled eyes. "This has really been some adventure."

"I know, Mom. This has been hard on all of us, but I promise that I'll visit as often as I can."

She nodded as they called for my flight.

"Well honey," she whispered. "I guess you better go."

"I love you, Mom," I whispered, my voice cracking

"I love you too, baby. I love you too."

I turned away from my friends and my family and walked towards the plane. Tears were now flowing freely from my eyes and I saw some of the other passengers look at me with pity. I ignored them, and quickly found my seat. I sat down and got comfortable.

Before long I drifted off into a peaceful sleep filled with images of my life, my home, my heart, my soul…

_My Quil._

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_**Author's Note: **Thank you so much if you read. I really do love you guys. Two more chapters coming your way tonight.**  
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	9. Brave

**Chapter 7**

**Claire POV**

My eyes roamed around the room my dad had professionally decorated for me in his four bedroom, two bath apartment.

"You make a bit more money being a lawyer in New York than in La Push Claire-Bear," he answered with a chuckle after I'd questioned him about the cost of all of this.

The walls were a beautiful deep red and held my collection of black and white old Hollywood pictures and Broadway posters. I sighed and looked at the small framed picture by my bed. Jake had taken it one day while Quil and I had fallen asleep on the beach. He'd given me this picture right before he left.

"Take care of it Claire," he'd said as he placed it in my hand. "It's a really good picture and I want you to have it."

A small tear escaped the corner of my eye. I was on my own now. I had no Quil, I had no Nessa, I had no Drew, no Lily, Embry, Jake, or Mom. For once in my life, I really had no one.

I stood up slowly from my black and white bed and walked towards the door on the far end of my room. It held a single music note and I was curious as to what could be on the other side. I opened it timidly and was shocked.

My father had built me a music room. The walls were a beautiful crisp white and a window took up the whole west wall. The space was so open and light. I looked around and spotted a brand new, shiny flute, an incredibly beautiful Doves in Flight Gibson Les Paul guitar, and a black Baby Grand piano. Eager to test out the gorgeous piano, I ran into my room to grab my music folder and hustled back into the music room. I flipped quickly through the folder and found a song I'd been working on for awhile. Ever since Quil had left to be exact. I set up my sheet music and began to play, singing along with the melody that erupted from the piano.

_I don't know just where I'm going_

_And tomorrow, is a little overwhelming_

_And the air is cold_

_And I'm not the same anymore_

Without Quil, I was a different person. It was hard to think about tomorrow when today isn't set in stone,

_I've been running in your direction_

_For too long now, I've lost my own reflection_

_And I can't look down_

_If you're not there to catch me when I fall._

I'd wanted Quil for so long, but apparently I wasn't good enough for him. If he's not there for me, I don't want to face tomorrow.

_If this is the moment_

_I stand here on my own_

_With everything I have inside everything I own_

_I won't be afraid 'cause it's my turn to be brave._

_I broke down in sobs, unable to finish the song. All of it was so true. The only problem was, I didn't know how to be brave. Standing on my own wasn't something I'd learned to do yet. I remembered the good times that Quil and I had shared and breathing became unbearable. I felt as if I was falling apart. I wrapped a hand around my torso and silently prayed for the pain to stop. It was ripping me apart from the inside out. There was a gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be and my lungs felt as if they no longer were intact. As I struggled for air, I knew that these organs must still be intact, but it felt as is when Quil left he took the very things that gave me life. _

_I tried to stand, to get as far away from this spot as possible, but it was impossible. I crumpled helplessly to the floor and begged for death. Life without Quil wasn't a life worth living. _

"_Quil," I whispered. "Please, I need you." Suddenly, desperation took over. There was too much pain for my emotions to handle alone. With new resolution, I stood and walked into my room. I grabbed my bathroom bag and practically ran for the bathroom. Unzipping my bag slowly, I reached in and pulled out my bag of razors. I didn't think about what I was doing, or the pain it would cause I just popped the cap off, sat down on the edge of the tub, and rolled up my sleeve. _

_Doing it on my wrist would be too obvious, so I pulled my shirt over my head and placed the razor to my shoulder. I took a deep breath and ran the razor over my exposed skin. I hissed at the pain it caused and clenched my jaw. I quickly placed a rag over the cut to stop the blood that was pouring from the wound. Okay, lesson learned. I wasn't going to do that again, but I wasn't going to stop my destructive behavior either. Causing myself physical pain distracted me from the emotional pain, even if it was only for a moment. I bandaged my shoulder, and pulled my shirt back over my head, wincing at the pain it caused._

"_Claire!" my father called. "Come here, honey."_

_Checking myself for any signs of blood that could've leaked through my shirt, I quickly dashed down the stairs so as not to keep my father waiting. _

"_Yeah, Dad."_

"_My friend from the office has a daughter who's about your age. She goes to the school you'll go to, and I asked her to take you out tonight to meet her friends and get to know the area. She'll be here in an hour," he said, and dismissed me._

_Flipping through my closet, I threw a pair of electric blue skinny jeans on my bed. I grabbed a silver tank top and my leather jacket. I felt like Mimi from RENT tonight. Alone. Frightened. Without her Roger. This outfit reminded me of her so I pulled it on and slipped on some black knee high boots to complete the outfit. Keys, wallet, lip gloss, and my cell phone was tossed carelessly in my purse as I ran a brush through my hair and skipped to the door just as the bell rang._

"_Hi, I'm Idina," an incredibly beautiful girl chirped happily. "You must be Claire."_

_I took in her pale skin, spiral curly dark hair, and bright green eyes. She was absolutely stunning._

"_Um, yeah, hi," I mumbled. _

"_You look absolutely fabulous!" Idina screeched. "Not many people could pull that look off," she noted with a smile._

"_Thanks," I smiled at her. I already liked this girl._

"_Well come on, everyone's waiting for us down at the park." Idina grabbed my hand, led me down the stairs, out the door, and across the street to Central Park. It was dark out and I saw a group of kids huddled together under a lamp post on a blanket. I wasn't in the mood for this. Everything was dull; I was numb. I felt like a zombie. In fact, all I wanted to do was go home and find a way to torture myself. _

"_Okay everyone, this is Claire," Idina said as she introduced me to the group. "Claire, this is my boyfriend, Taye." Taye was a tall, handsome, black guy. "Daphne," she said as she gestured to a short, curly headed, Latino beauty. "Adam," she now pointed to a tall, muscular, rocker type guy. "Anthony, is the short, blonde guy over there with the camera and blue and white scarf. This is Jesse," she smiled towards another dark skinned man with gentle brown eyes, but a football playing body. "His twin sister, Tracie," she was short, with curly hair and the same beautiful brown eyes. "And finally, this is Wilson." _

_My jaw dropped._

_This guy was gorgeous. He had dark tan skin, that looked almost Latino, deep brown eyes that faded color as you went out and were green around the rim. He has a football player's body and muscles to die for. He was no Quil, but he was definitely… something. _

"_Hi, everyone," I murmured politely. _

"_Hi, Claire," Taye smiled gently at me, as though sensing my discomfort._

"_Killer boots," Daphne nodded in approval. I thanked her politely and went back to my zombie state. I let everyone do their own thing and only talked when I was asked a direct question. _

_Time drug on and on until finally Idina declared it was time to go. I was free until Monday, which was when we had all made plans to go see a movie after school. Two days alone to cry and be alone. _

_I couldn't have asked for anything more._

_Later that night, as I lay in bed I knew that I was a different person. There was no going back to the Claire I used to be._

_I was forever changed._


	10. God Damn You're Beautiful

**Chapter 8**

**Claire POV**

The days soon grew into weeks, and before I knew it I was celebrating a month of living in New York. Over this period of time I had grown exceptionally close to Dee and all of her friends, and discovered my newest addiction.

Eraser burns.

Cutting was too hard to cover up and much to messy, so whenever I got the urge to do something I reached for a pencil and rubbed at my skin until it was raw. It distracted me from the pain, if only for a minute. I knew Quil wouldn't approve of this behavior, but he was gone.

Forever.

"Claire?" Daphne's head appeared through the crack in my door.

I quickly wiped away the tears that seemed to be constantly flowing from my eyes, and rolled down my shorts so she couldn't see my scars.

"Yeah, come in," I tried my best to smile at her.

"Hey, chica," she said as she plopped down on my bed. I held back a sob as I remembered the way that Nessa had done the same thing on the first day of school so long ago. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine," I lied through the fake smile I had plastered on my face.

"That's good, because Dee has a surprise for you!" She began bouncing up and down in anticipation.

"What do you mean?"

"Just get ready for cocktails at the Tribeca Star Lounge." she said referring to the grand hotel situated just down the street from my apartment.

"Do you not remember what happened last time we went there?" I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Adam had way too much to drink and ruined your dress."

"We'll watch him! Don't worry. Just be ready by six." She smiled and ran out the door to go get ready herself.

"Oh and Claire," she said suddenly turning around. "Dress nice." She winked at me then skipped off.

Sighing, I climbed off my bed and stumbled into the bathroom to take a long shower. I stripped down and cringed at all the scars that covered my body. I had been doing this to myself for a month now and my thighs and stomach were completely covered with the horrible marks.

Sobs overtook me once more when I realized what I had been doing to myself. There was no turning back, that much I knew, but it still hurt to see myself like this.

I hopped in the shower and turned the water on, flinching when it burned my skin. I let the water blend in with my tears, hoping no one could hear me. The pain spread through my body like a wild fire.

I just wanted to curl up and die.

Soon, the water started to run cold, and my tears stopped. I stepped clumsily out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I started to shiver as I walked to my room and to my large walk in closet. My eyes scanned my collection of evening dresses that my dad had bought for me and landed on my pride and joy. My new Betsey Johnson dress.

I slipped the purple fabric over my head and zipped up the side. I admired the sparkly umpire waist and the way the fabric flared around my thighs, nicely covering my scars. I threw on a house coat so I could get ready without ruining my dress and sat down at my vanity to straighten my hair. I applied my makeup carefully in various shades of purple and silver. I always tried to look my best, even if I didn't feel it.

Just as I was putting on my earrings, the doorbell rang.

"Come on in, she's upstairs," my dad's voice sounded from downstairs.

Moments later, Dee's perky voice was just outside my door.

"Wow, Claire!" Her eyes widened when she saw me, "You look amazing!"

"Thanks," I replied in a monotone voice. The only voice I used these days. I saw no point in wasting the energy to sound perky.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked as she looked herself over in the mirror once more.

"Yeah, of course," I said with a fake smile. She led me down the stairs, out the front door, and all the way outside to the taxi where everyone else was already waiting. I smiled as I received compliments on my dress and makeup, but I didn't really hear anything. I wasn't really there. I was thousands of miles away, on First Beach with Nessa, Andrew, and Quil.

"Claire," Wilson waved his hand in front of my face. "Claire, we're here."

"Thanks," I smiled at him as he offered me his hand. I got out of the taxi and followed the crowd to the front door.

"Claire, wait here!" Idina instructed me. Daphne placed her hand over my eyes and Tracie grabbed my hand. I felt large hands on my waist and knew Jesse was behind me, helping me keep my balance. They led me through the hotel's lobby and through the doors of the lounge.

"What's going on guys?" I asked impatiently.

Suddenly, Jesse dropped his hands from my waist at the same time Tracie dropped my hand. Daphne's hand fell from my eyes and I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the dim light. I looked around and my eyes landed on one person.

Quil.

"What is he doing here?" I turned around and looked at Idina. She smiled at me.

"Isn't it great! You seemed kind of down so I talked to your dad and he said you were really close with this guy! I approve. He's yummy!" she said with a genuine smile. Quil began walking towards us and the tears started flowing.

Without really thinking about it, I ran. I ran as fast as I could. How could he just try to waltz right back into my life after he had hurt me so badly? Did he just want to break me even further? As soon as I got outside I took off my heels so I could run faster, not even thinking about what could be on the ground. I didn't care. It was only a block to the apartment anyways. I ran all the way up to my room without even pausing when my father asked me to stop. I closed my door and locked it. Sitting down on my bed, I grabbed the pencil beside my bed. I rubbed at the skin on my thigh with the eraser until it bled. Even then, I kept going. Tears began streaming down my face from the pain, but still, I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. Seeing Quil, after all this time, brought back all the painful memories that I had tried so hard to suppress. I couldn't face him. Finally, when blood was flowing freely from the wound, I stopped. Shaking my head slightly, I stood up and went to the bathroom to find a bandage. I wrapped it carefully around my leg and applied pressure to the cut to stop the bleeding. Of course, I was very disappointed in myself and even Quil's smiling face on the wall seemed to look at me with a sense of disapproval.

"Quil, my boy! What are you doing here?" I heard my father call out to someone.

Then I heard his voice.

"I'm here to see Claire," Quil's soft voice replied. It sounded raw, like he'd been crying. My heart instantly broke in two. I couldn't face him. There was no way I could see him after all this time. My walls would fall. I would become vulnerable again. I couldn't do that. I picked up my phone and texted my father telling him to tell Quil I wasn't here.

"She's not here," my dad said uncertainly. "After she came home she changed clothes and went to the park I think." I knew my father hated this. Quil was like his son.

"Thanks, Mr. Young."

"When are you headed for home, Quil?" my dad asked him.

"I guess right about now," he spoke quietly and it was hard to hear him. "Whenever Claire gets home tell her I'm back in La Push, please," he said and I heard the door shut.

"Claire, come down here please," my dad called.

"Coming," I called back. Quickly, I pulled pants on over my legs to cover my numerous scars and bounded down the stairs.

"What was that about? Why did you ask me to send Quil away?" he asked incredulously.

"He's hurt me too badly. Dad, I can't let him back in," I whispered as I collapsed in sobs. My father caught me as I fell, wrapping his arms around me and whispering comforting words in my ear. For the first time… he was a father. This is what daddy's do for their little girls. His strong hands rubbed my back until I eventually grew tired. My father stood up with me in his arms and carried me to my room where he tucked me in and kissed my forehead.

"I love you sweetheart," he whispered. He flipped the light off and left me alone in the darkness where I eventually fell asleep only to be met by _his _face haunting my dreams.

…………………………

**Quil's POV**

I'd been back in La Push for almost two weeks now. Not that I didn't appreciate everything the Cullens did for me, I couldn't stay there. I never did get used to the smell.

Two weeks ago when Claire's friend, Idina I think, invited me to come visit Claire, I thought that things would finally go back to normal. I thought I would get her back. I had actually planned on telling her everything... even the how I'm in love with her part. Of course, it was all too good to be true. I should've known Claire hadn't forgiven me. She probably never will.

One look at her told me Claire was but a shell of her former self. Her eyes lacked the brightness they used to hold every time she looked at me. She'd gotten so skinny... like she was withering away to nothing at all. My Claire was gone and had been replaced with a girl just trying to live day to day. She was just trying to find a way to survive.

I knew I had done that to her. It was all my fault.

The phone rang, momentarily causing me to forget about my self loathing.

"Hello?"

"Hey man," it was Seth. His voice sounded distraught.

"Seth? Bro, what's wrong?" I asked, suddenly concerned.

Suddenly, he broke down into sobs. "Ariel…" he whimpered.

"Seth? Come on man, tell me what happened."

I heard him attempt to quiet his sobs long enough to tell me what happened. "She was on her way to Port Angeles with her friends to talk to some caterer about the wedding…" he broke down again, his sobs louder than before. "She was in a wreck Quil. A bad one."

I stopped breathing as my heart pounded in my chest. "Where is she, Seth? Is she okay?" I demanded.

"She's in critical condition at Forks Hospital," he whispered, his voice overflowing with heartbreak.

"I'll be right there." I didn't even take the time to say goodbye. I hung up and ran out the door throwing off clothes and tying them to my ankle on the way. As soon as I was in the woods, I exploded. I ran at top wolf speed, the trees around me becoming a blur. Soon, the trees started thinning and I could tell I was closer to the city. I changed back and put on my clothes. I walked the rest of the way to the hospital, dreading what I would find when I got there.

I walked through the glass double doors, my entrance announced with a ding. Immediately, Seth flung himself at me, collapsing in sobs once again.

"Seth, it's okay. It's all going to be okay," I tried to soothe the guy who'd grown to be my brother over the years.

Suddenly, he looked up at me, his brown eyes more serious than I'd ever seen them. He put both of his hands on my shoulders and stepped back. "Quil, go get her. Go find her and tell her everything. Tell her how much you love her. How much you appreciate her. How much you need her. You never know when she'll slip away from you forever," he stopped talking tears flowing out of his eyes. "Then it's just too late."

He gave me a brotherly hug and walked away, down the corridor to what I guessed what Ariel's room.

Embry approached me from where he'd been sitting on the other side of the waiting room. "Go after her. We'll be here when you get back."

And with that, I took off. I was going to get my life back. My heart, my soul, my Claire. This time I wouldn't take no for an answer.


	11. New Update!

You guys are probably like, WHOA! Who is this chick? Yeah, I know I disappeared. Kill me. I've been gone for a long time. I'm giving this story another try. But I'm moving it to my new account. .2014. So, yeah, check it out, dude. Sound like a plan? (: LOVE YOU GUYS!


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